We celebrated 25 years of being married a few months ago. Yes, yay!
Our wedding is the sort of strange memory we both have and really, I don’t know what 25 years feels like to anyone else, but it’s hard for me to wrap my brain around what that means and also all the memories and kids we have had since then!!
Here is a short list of what I’ve learned and some of it is applicable to birth work I am sure (and some is probably not but there you have it.
- Trust your instincts when something feels easy and good. It probably is and no one NEEDS a struggle, in marriage or any part of life. You can trust easy. Don’t believe anyone that tells you it has to be hard.
- Expect great things. I have the blessing of parents that are still married and grandparents that were also married their whole lives. So, I expected nothing less, frankly. I expected what seemed “normal” and I never doubted I’d get any less.
- A great relationship comes from each partner doing their own work. Cleaning up their side of the street, so to speak. We’ve had rough moments too, but never considered anything but taking responsibility in the ways we knew. Nothing you see in other people actually has anything to do with them, and 100% to do with you.
- Marry someone funny especially if you are serious.
- Give gratitude for your amazing life, but don’t call it luck. For years people have asked “how have you guys stayed married for so long” and to some I would laughingly say, luck! But no. It is not luck. It is a combo of Divine magic, being open to doing this together, ALL of it, and knowing that we were meant to live this life together.
- Give up planning and scheming to create your life; the best version comes when you love who you are, who you are with and the vibe you want to spread in the world. I never in a million years THOUGHT or PLANNED to have all these amazing kids, or really any part of what we are living today.
Ok, that about made me cry so take what works, and leave the rest.
Oxoxox
Maryn
